Hindrance in Waiting
One day when I was sitting in a restaurant, I was attacked
by what I called, “Heart Burn”. It is not a typical heart burn which doctors
explain or can be treated by a normal paracetamol. While spearing a few strands
of pasta, my attention was caught by this couple who simply hold-hands and
pleasingly cuddle each other’s arm. Unluckily, the tone of surrounding fails to
cooperate in my domino-effect sentiment. Romantic song joined the cold noon
breeze that touched my face. Until, the flame of bitterness demands me to leave
the place. In other words, it is a throbbing state of heart that totally
distracts ones healthy outlook about singlehood. It is like a heart that is
burning in jealousy and doubt which entails an illusion; “I am insignificant”, “I am
unattractive”, “I am a looser”.
Wherever I placed my sight, lovers pass by, kissing and embracing. Count in the
pestering questions of family and friends, which builds pressure in my
timetable. Whenever this incident take place, I usually recite this phrase;
“One who assume that the time is late is a person who never know how to wait!”
Probably, series of reaction will
arise whenever the clock dictates you to stop while its hands are smoothly
moving onwards. It has something to do with the word willingness. “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matt.
26:41 NIV). David G. Benner, in his book “Desiring
God’s Will”, he shared, “A spirit of willingness invites me to pause and
turn to God, simply opening to God for a moment, letting God bring perspective
and clarity about my need to stop writing for the night or throw out what I’ve
started and wait for the gift of fresh idea. Willfulness, in either
circumstance, is my fight against quitting, against attending to my body
against attending to God’s Spirit. The act of willing surrender is a choice of
openness, a choice of abandonment of self-determination, a choice of
cooperation with God.”[1]
Therefore, unwillingness to comply with the present circumstance is a huge
block to maintain the sacred order of event.
Looked at carefully, if one handed you a gift, you cannot
receive it properly if your hand is not open. Unless you stretch your arms frontward
and willingly open your hands wide, you cannot enthusiastically enjoy the
receiving. Likewise, in waiting, the moment you willingly acknowledge that where you are, is definitely the best
place for you on that particular point in time. Then, impatience will lose its
drive. Pressure will subside. Impulsivity can be controlled. For you are
prepared and eager to take whatever will be the cost. Despite the fact, that
the only and lowly thing you can give is a heart that is willing to wait.
In connection to this, I remember in one of the school
seminars I attended, the speaker Will Hernandez Ph.D discussed about the author Henri Nouwen and his book, “Spiritual
Polaries of our Journey”. In his discussion of Creative Withdrawal, he
considered the idea, in which at times; ‘the best thing to do is to back-off’.[2]
The most exciting yet the hardest place of all is when someone is just a couple
steps away from the finish line - where the competition is too tight. However,
most crises happen when we tend to admit defeat when the trophy is just within
our reach. Hill echoes it like this: “The problem is that we give up just before God
shows up.” [3]
Still, it is the willingness to seek God that makes a person to attend the
process. The act of willing surrender mentioned by Benner is proportioned to
what Hernandez tries to explain. Waiting is totally an effort. No one wants to
wait too long. Hence, our effort cannot stand alone, we have to open our hearts
and allow the Courage to help us to get back into the game. Dr. Hernandez
elaborately persist the significance of this red flag scene, he added, “…we have to leave so that the Spirit can
come.” We have waited, perhaps months, years, for some almost half of a
lifetime. So might as well, remain steadfast until we officially received,
because the Lord is faithful to those who believe.
How are we to wait?
Bear in mind that it is good to
wait. For after this period we will receive what we have longed for in faith.
In the book, Dancing with God, Irene
Alexander explains that ‘our longing originates in God. He placed this
longingness in our hearts. And his true desire is to respond to us.’[4]
The longing for connection, to be recognized and valued comes from God. Avoid
wrestling with envy’s painful grip. Besides, the Lord who has placed the desire
to wait for the right person is also the One who can meet all our expectations.
Singles are called to endure- for no miner endures to go beneath the surface
who cannot found a treasure that satisfies.
Single person is ought to wait in
full reverence to God. The service from a true and enduring heart is precious
in his eyes. It is louder than our most deafening shout of praise – and more
impressive than our most humble entreat. The Lord knows that we are searching
for a treasure- the man or woman of our dreams. In fact, he deeply acknowledges
this feeling; “I want you to be free from all anxiety. The man who is not
married can spend his time working for the Lord and pleasing Him” (I Cor.
7:32).[5]
Once a heart is fixed in the business of the King, the misery in waiting will
completely vanished. The more we work, we just work. But the more we pray and
serve God works. In the journal “Answered Prayer” published by Christian
Broadcasting Network; “As you commit your requests to Him, believe that His
will is being done according to the greatness of His power and wisdom. Don’t
underestimate God’s ability to make a way for you when one doesn’t seem
possible. With your limited understanding and abilities, we often forget His
boundless wisdom and power, Ask in faith and be like Abraham when you pray
(Romans 4:20, 21).”[6]
In the movie “Karate Kid” starring Jackie Chan and Jaden
Smith, I first heard this popular quote: “Being still and doing nothing are two
different things - Life can knock us down, but we can choose whether or not we
get back up.”[7]
Therefore, when God placed us into His waiting room, we are not obliged to do anything; we have to be convinced
that He only want us to be still in
order for Him to work well. Take note,
the most significant yet invisible action here is to entrust Him the doing; in this way we can cooperate in
His plans and timing. Understand that waiting in this context is also an action
word. Stillness of a soul is a grandiose
act of faith.
Allow Him to function as God and push ourselves to serve Him
with a soul that is free from anxiety.
For waiting is an act of trusting, trusting is a form of worship and in
our worship is an offering of self to serve. Do not pester Him; rather just be
cooperative until He initiates to do our part.
We have to honor the Lord with all
our being. After all, if God is the source of our joy and object of our love,
the time when this significant other comes, he or she will absolutely be
satisfied. For the love that we present is pure and the joy that we bring
overflows. That is because He is our true resource.
[1] David G. Benner, Desiring
God’s Will; Aligning our Hearts with the Heart of God (Illinois:
Inter varsity Press, 2005), 23
[2]
Will Hernandez, Henri Nouwen and Spiritual Polaries of our Journey, (ATS
Chapel, January 27, 2012).
[5]
I Corinthians 7:32 ESV; “I want you to be free from all anxiety. The man
who is not married can spend his time working for the Lord and pleasing Him.”
Comments
Post a Comment