Trying to take my mind off any racing thoughts. But it doesn't work, still wide awake. I realized it's already midnight, so I tend to pray again a little, return
to bed. Staring at the dark ceiling, toss and turn, then noticed it's been already an hour since I last checked the time.
Thinking of
something deep, seeking God for clear answers about matters of heart. Asking him like, "really Lord, you said yes, and this is for real?.... But why it seemed I don't see any signs?", "Did I heard you right?" or "Am I only getting impatient?" Then it is even getting harder to catch a sleep.
There are times that I sincerely prayed for something, committing all my strength to wait on it, believing that I heard the Lord clearly with the confirmation of the Scripture. But there were days that doubts start rising, and not always in the mood to praise. Times when all of the sudden, I simply want to stop and tell God, "Did you really say that to me?" And sadly, one of those times, is just right this very second.
There are times that I sincerely prayed for something, committing all my strength to wait on it, believing that I heard the Lord clearly with the confirmation of the Scripture. But there were days that doubts start rising, and not always in the mood to praise. Times when all of the sudden, I simply want to stop and tell God, "Did you really say that to me?" And sadly, one of those times, is just right this very second.
So, I grabbed my
phone to just continue reading using my downloaded scripture app. Interestingly, my next chapter is on 1 Kings 4:1-37. Stories of the widow’s oil, the Shunammite woman and the Deadly
Stew. All three stories in one chapter are
distinctly beautiful and as I meditate on each passage, I proved one thing that God cannot do.
I'm already in 1 Kings 4:1-7, the widow feels very anxious because of the credit that she must
settle; thus her two sons are about to be taken away as payment. Elisha was sent
for her by God to help on her problem. She left nothing aside from a small jar of olive oil. The small amount she has was never an excuse to feed Elisha and believe that the jars she collected will all be filled at the command of God. The jars she and her sons filled were sold out, therefore she was able to pay her
debt and yet left with more oil.
On the second
passage, 1 Kings 4: 8-17. Out of generosity of the Shunammite woman, she was granted with an unexpected blessing to conceive even though her husband was already old. Holding fast on
what she heard, yet she came to verify with Elisha the prophet saying, “O man of God, do not lie to
me your servant.” I heard this phrase yesterday as I talked to God about
a certain revelation from my personal devotion. This verse echoes the prophesy
of Balaam in Numbers 23:19 “that God cannot lie because he’s not like a human
being that change his mind.” As I resonate on this sweet assurance, hope add up
and strength arise. In this season of uncertainty, I am grateful that my peace does
not waver. I believe in his wisdom and power. Whenever a confusing situation occurs, I ran towards God for guidance, and I
was so grateful that he threw me then Proverbs 8- after I meditated each verse- a sudden unfathomable joy rushed into my veins confirming
that he is The Source of wisdom and there is no shadow of lie in His Word. Indeed, God and His Word are so fused together, that His Wisdom overflow in every Word He say. The moment we accepted Christ as Lord and Savior; His living word revived our soul and by His wisdom we have started walking in His light.
As I continue reading, the Shunammite woman was able to bore a son on the exact time which Elisha told her so. But some
years later, her son died. What a devastating scene! Recently, I felt having experienced both joy and hope, but all the sudden everything's changed. The pain was
extremely crazy. Trying to recall where did I fail or what have I done wrong when a lifelong request has suddenly been declined.
The mother
carried her son to the room out on his bed and immediately left. Then she
called her husband and told that she will go to Elisha with a servant and her
donkey, so her husband asked why she have to leave because it is neither Sabbath
nor New Moon, and yet she answered, “never mind” (TEV).
What? Never mind?! Does it feel a strange response to something like “life and death situation”. What faith and courage it was! It is even translated as, "all is well," (ESV) while “it shall be well” in (NKJV).
As it goes, Elisha saw her
coming from a far, and when she approached Gehazi (Elisha’s servant) she told him that everything was alright. But when she came to Elisha she bowed down before him and took
hold of his feet. Gehazi was about to stop her, but Elisha reprimanded him and said, "Leave her alone, can't you see, she's in deep distress and the Lord has not told me a thing about it." Then the woman inquired, “Sir, did I ask my Lord for a son? Did I say, do not lie to me?”.
Who can relate on this statement? as if like; "Are you sure, Lord?", or "Aren't you gave it, but why are you taking it so abruptly?” However, through her courage and relentless spirit. She knows that God has given her a son, therefore his life should not only end that way. Her son might be dead, but her hope is not. In silence the woman believes among all the many things that God can, to lie is that one thing He truly cannot do.
Who can relate on this statement? as if like; "Are you sure, Lord?", or "Aren't you gave it, but why are you taking it so abruptly?” However, through her courage and relentless spirit. She knows that God has given her a son, therefore his life should not only end that way. Her son might be dead, but her hope is not. In silence the woman believes among all the many things that God can, to lie is that one thing He truly cannot do.
On the first
attempt of Gehazi to perform a miracle using Elisha’s stick doesn’t work. So
Gehazi need to return to Elisha and reported that the boy was still
unresponsive. Imagine the feeling of the mother in her waiting when Gehazi left
for Elisha, little by little as the time ticks quickly in front of her lifeless
son. Throbbing pain of unbearable sorrow, or perhaps her heart feel like to
explode, out of mixed worry and fear of losing her only son. Yet she trust Elisha,
and the Lord that she never gave up the faith as she held the hands of her son
until Elisha came. After Elisha’s prayer the boy’s body starting to get warm, and he sneezed seven times. Then Elisha announced the most relieving phrase she ever heard that day, “Pick up
your son.” She fell at his feet, overflowing with gratitude, with her face touching the ground, then took her son and left.
Now, what do you
want to pick up, get or reclaim? Name it, hold fast on it, and remain obedient, until the hope and promise arrive. Like the widow, as we obey, there will be no run out. Like the Shunammite woman, know the promise and hold it tightly by heart. See
how perfect when the Lord say yes to those things that are about to come true.
I know deep within my spirit, that it is the Lord who gave me the "Word". Isn't he speaking now, affirming about that certain promise, by showing me these stories?
Whenever in doubt and find yourself tossing and turning. Pause. Pray. And rely on His Word. Always remember, he is the only One who doesn’t change mind, because truly Yhwh - our God cannot lie.
I know deep within my spirit, that it is the Lord who gave me the "Word". Isn't he speaking now, affirming about that certain promise, by showing me these stories?
Whenever in doubt and find yourself tossing and turning. Pause. Pray. And rely on His Word. Always remember, he is the only One who doesn’t change mind, because truly Yhwh - our God cannot lie.
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